SCribbles

This page will be for writings both old and new. For years I have been unable to express myself face to face, but have found a release in putting my feelings and emotions in writing. By doing so I like to believe others who have found themselves feeling alone, rejected, and without hope the understanding that is so much beyond the truth. There are others who experience the same joy, heartache, desperation and revelations. Traverse the quagmire of being alive and possessing a soul, a caring heart, and you may find something here within which you may relate…

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An angel came my way one day

Her love a light

Covering me so bright

Warming my heart and soul

The moments we shared

Seconds wonderful eternities

Hours but a mere blink of an eye

Time had no grasp on these

A simple sinner in awe of her overall grace

Wanting to be worthy of her

I shed all that could disgrace

How can this glorious beauty

Say she isn’t worthy of me

Could there be something in me

That only she can see

Her kind gentle heart

Bringing peace to my soul

A world shattered to pieces

When she said she had to go

Now the siezing of time

The chill that covers me

Doesn’t bring a happy rhyme

Or release me from this burden

That has brought me to me knees

A world without you loving me

Is no world in which I want to be

Wishing that you could see

How much having you in my life

I wish for eternally

To my precious angel

I call these words out to thee

Extend out your wings

Wrap them around me

I want to hold you forever

Protect you from all that could harm

Encase you in my love

Having you tenderly in my arms

If you have to go away

My love for you will forever stay

To let go of you

For your happiness I will do

Your joy means more to me

Than anything I could ever be

To know you fly where you want

That your heart is given freely

-Rhett Butler

©
Thoughts I try to put down here
Will I have one for which I hold dear
Far away from me in body
Sometimes it seems in heart
Wishing I wasn’t connected
To the things that have torn her apart

Trusting someone again is
A hard step to take
Wishing not to suffer again
Another heartache
Holding on, trying to be strong
Trying to get them to see
You are not the one that did them so wrong

How long can one stand
Strong and still not break
Being torn apart inside
Needing someone to fall apart to

A strong love needs a foundation
Of which two good hearts can provide
But these hearts need beat together
Or the cracks will start and crumble from within

You can’t make others pay the price
For what has ripped your heart asunder
If you can not separate that time
Losing the greatest love of your live
May very well be your worse blunder.

-©Rhett Butler

Every day I hear you there
Your voice reaching out into the sky
Knowing you are near
Seeking out one of your own
I know the nature of your cry
Hoping that you are not alone

Memories of soaring
Together thru the air
Now faced with the reality
Of your other not being there

Your cry pierces my soul
Wondering if your voice will be answered
Though you never receive one
Still you carry on unwavering
Crying out to the clouds

Wishing to have your wings
My heart cries for you
Knowing what is carried when you sing
My soul weeps

Linked to your spirit
I wish for your partner’s return
Saddened by the knowledge
You may feel heartache’s burn

Fate isn’t kind
It can indeed be cruel
Togetherness or loneliness
Is it’s eternal duel

Every day passes
And I wonder how it shall end
Shall I hear your voice joined?
Or will there come the day
I hear none at all….

©

Why do I let my heart torture me so
As I count off the reasons why you shouldn’t go
All that’s left for me is misery
Still too blind to really see
Why I let my heart torture me so

I know I’m not a perfect man
For you I wish I was
Wish I could understand
All the things you really need

Those things we said
In the heat of the fight
Just make things wrong not right
And now here we are
Both sleeping alone tonight

Why do I let my heart torture me so
As I count of all the reasonS
Why you shouldn’t go
All that’s left for me is misery
Still too blind to really see
Why I let my heart torture me so

Before you lady I spent a lot of time alone
This old house still never was a home
You came into my life
Cut thru my walls just like a knife

I thought I’d never love again
After all I’d been thru
Somehow we meet and then
I knew it would be you
You gave me faith back in myself
Opened up my eyes
To things I couldn’t or wouldn’t see
Things in life I tried to hide up on a shelf

Why do I let my heart torture me so
As I count off all the reasons
Why you shouldn’t go
All that’s left for me is misery
Still too blind to really see
Why I let my heart torture me so

-Rhett Butler

©

Ideals,values….things that everyone has in one shape or another.
Not all of us having the same we have a hard time understanding
other’s point of view. It doesn’t matter whether your man or woman…..
even within the genders different things in life have more importance than others.
One may hold fame in high esteem…where a sibling may hold
honor,trust ,love as the most important things in life.
The way people feel often decides on the paths
they take in life. We never know exactly why we do
the things we do…what causes us to run the entire range of emotions
from just a single phrase….something said or left unsaid.
The wanting of having these feelings returned can be overwhelming ,
causing physical pain , mental torment . When they are ,
there life seems to be the true existence of heaven
where nothing can cause you harm. The mere thought
of the one you feel so much for caring for you and that they
wouldn’t want it any other way .

One of the biggest gaps in ideals is caused by the impressions
laid upon us from the beginning of childhood…a man must
emotionally be this way , must want these things , should be expected
to be treated like this. The same holding for a woman, that she
should like to do this…that it is wrong to expect that….When in truth
we all should feel that we want the same for everyone around us
, no prejudices…no expectations of things that some are
incapable to give. Others have the feeling that life owes them…
unwilling to give to life in order to receive anything in return.

We often find one of the hardest things to deal with in life
is a vicious little feeling….jealousy. It’s strong enough
to tear a world apart…and to build another.
As a whole, when it affects us we do our best to hide it…
because in a way we feel that letting the one we feel that way over
is endowed with a power over us….someone who truly cares
does their best to reassure that there is no reason for us to feel
that way….that the feelings they have are for you alone.
Those who enjoy the thrill will use it time and time again ,
happy to see the other twisting in the wind. Having the ability to do this
lets them know that they have no worries over being left behind.

Hope,happiness,love, all these things we find joined together
as being the positive driving forces in our lives.
Forces we see as light in our world and being uplifting ,
a common bond that we reach out to another with a smile
on our face and in our hearts. The love a mother has for her child….
the fierceness she has to stand in the face
of any force that threatens it. The love a brother has for sister,
the love of one soul mate for another…these are the things
that can in one moment….cause the world to shift….to make
every soul take notice that these things can’t be denied , that with out a doubt ,
with every fiber of their soul…that true love does exist .
How can love make you smile…and at the same time
make you cry? The human soul is full of such paradoxes. The ability to be pulled
in so many directions at once…..does indeed seem to be singular to us.

Then comes the point….of what to do when only one is left in love….
two souls that were once one blinding light…suddenly split apart…
What spark is left in the one that remains? What is there
for them to reach down inside and hold on to? At one time….
I found it….at one time….the world was taken from me in a shattering cruel blow.
At that time…the drive to know that my heart was not to be alone…that one day ,
true love would be mine was what brought me out of the depths…..

Time passes…and then I begin to wonder about just how much
a heart can take….when you’re having good times
when you feel that life can not be better , that you are told
that you are loved, even begin to feel it…letting your heart open up….
and there is nothing that can make your life more complete .
Suddenly without warning, things start slipping away…more intangible..
and you don’t even realize when it started. What was the trigger
that started making your world disappear from around you .
Your heart moving from one love to the next, one moment swollen
with the heat of passion and love…only to end up small and cold
left out in the barren bitter biting world , dwindling
away until it is swallowed whole by the emptiness .
This is when we feel the pain of a love dying.

You reach out…trying to grab hold to anything
that will make you feel as though you are not totally alone
in the universe. It isn’t to amazing to realize that a person can
feel so lost….so much apart from everything .
I believe that if a heart is to maintain balance..for the heart
and soul to recover… that love , caring and compassion
can ease the wounds of the heart . When none of these are received ,
that is when the heart gives in….when hope
no longer seems to be within it’s grasp…

Sometimes I lay awake …and cry
Sometimes I want to just curl up… and die
Sometimes my life just rushes in… on me
Sometimes I wonder what’s in store indeed
Sometimes I look up into… the sky
Sometimes I wish that I had wings… and could fly
Sometimes the night falls over… me
Sometimes I feel all alone and … empty

But…

Sometimes I feel the heat from… the sun
Sometimes I feel the gentle kiss of… the rain
Sometimes I feel the wind… caressing me
Sometimes I am happy and … carefree

Then again…

Sometimes the faces turn… and stare
Sometimes you can’t avoid them… anywhere
Sometimes alienation is the only… way
Sometimes the misery just comes… to stay

Sometimes my soul cries out… for something
Sometimes I can’t place just what it is that I’m… missing
Sometimes I grasp out way… to strong
Sometimes I can never see just what… is wrong

But…

Sometimes I feel the heat from… the sun
Sometimes I feel the gentle kiss of… the rain
Sometimes I feel the wind… caressing me
Sometimes I am happy and … carefree

Always I know myself… I’ll be
No one can ever take that… from me
Always standing by what I know… is right
No one can save me from this eternal fight…..

-Rhett Butler

©

Giving our partings to the day that as been
Dreams come to us thru the night
Breaking thru the darkness
Upon the heart shedding light

We grasp at the gossamer
Of our hopes, wishes and dreams
Feeling them flowing thru our fingers
As we dabble them into life’s flowing stream

The whispers of love from others
Can blind us… yes sad true
Other’s obsessions smothers
Leading us away from that which is true

Then suddenly it happens
Loves true happiness alights
No longer do we wonder
Upon those tossing sleepless nights

Your love I feel enshrouding me
Caressing my very soul
Wanting nothing but your happiness
To comfort you my life’s true goal

This poem I write for you
Dreaming of our souls as they entwine
I hope that it’s meaning is clear
Please be oh so much more …than just My Precious Valentine

-Rhett Butler

©

Standing here beside you

Both your hands in mine

Looking at your smiling face

Memorizing every line

To get to this day

Seemed to take forever

Thanking all that there be

That we are finally like this, together

Our paths have been long and winding

Leading us day by day

Twisting, turning, diving road

That finally turned our way

Your face so radiant

Expressing your inner glow

If the smile on my face matches yours

Is not a hard thing to know

We’ve had the hard times

And of some of their returns we can face

To make our times the best times

Leaving the rest of the world

Living at our own pace

-Rhett Butler

Being there for you when times are at their worse
Chatting with you until I’m mentally hoarse
Your symbol of strength I try to be
Every last ounce of resolve handed over

Can’t understand how this can be
How these feelings come about
Caring emotions from inside spring
But a sounding board is all you see

So many times the best of friends
Yet never the one wanted in return
Shoring you up against heartbreaks
While I sit and slowly burn

Your secrets you reveal to me one by one
Realizing that judgment is never passed
Feelings and dreams revealed to me
Yet unattached I am to remain

Perhaps the day will come
When you feel I’m enough
How else should I be
Waiting to see what you feel beyond now

Rhett Butler 05/03/04

To Truly See
With the heart and mind
Gazing deeply to what lies within
Delving beyond superficial masks
Choosing to know instead
The person you hide from the world
I want to truly see

Smiles that cover scars
Tears burning fiercer than stars
Laughter given to smother sobs
Words spoken to hide away pain
Things unsaid so they aren’t true
I want to truly see

Haunting memories
Abandoned hopes
Childhood longings
Aspirations for loved ones
Paths rather taken
Knowing these I truly see

You.

1 Comment

One thought on “SCribbles

  1. Pingback: SCribbles « swampfoxgreen's Blog

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